Yesterday was a good day. So good, in fact, that here I am writing about it a day later. “Poor Sunday”, you say. “It never gets the recognition it deserves”…. Calm down. It’s a great day too. It’s a day of late brunch, day drinking and the occasional Superbowl Nipple fiasco. It even has a fun rhyme that is associated with all the lazy, drunk FUN you’re going to have on said day.
We’re getting off track here…. what was the point? oh yea, Saturday. GREAT day. If you live in a cave, or worse, anywhere but Vancouver, then you missed out. Saturday was awesome. There is nothing like a beautiful sunny day in Vancouver, so I enjoy it when we get it.
There are 2 complaints I hear regularly from anyone who isn’t originally from here. 1. It rains too much. and 2. People in Vancouver are jerks. Wrong! … weeeell… no, it’s mostly true. Most people don’t even look up as you walk by. I am so jaded now that if someone smiles at me, I immediately check my face for leftover noodles or pen marks, and if someone talks to me, I assume they are slightly crazy or they have the worst job ever (You know the ones, they are out on the sidewalks, they have clipboards, are usually in pairs, they start the conversation before you even get to them so you don’t walk right by and have this amazing ability to smile even though you know they are dying to tell every person who ignores them to go #%!$ themselves).
…. I think I got off track again….
Oh yes, Jerks in Vancouver. Im probably one of them. How did I get like this? A few years ago I was smiling and saying hello to every person I walked by… and some lifelike statues (seriously. It was very embarrassing) This was just part of the life of working on cruise ships. If you were out in a passenger area you were expected to greet and ‘deliver the wow’ (which was interpreted in different ways depending on the person). At first it was awkward to say hello to EVERYONE. On a the first night, everyone was out and I’d end up feeling like Chris Rattan from Night at the Roxbury, but that could have just been my sweet blue suit.
When I started my integration back into the real world I couldn’t shake the habit. A friendly “Hello” in the staircase at the doctors office would result in my getting the stink eye. Most people would react in 1 of 3 ways “Do you work here?” or “Should I know you?”. That’s only 2, and I’ve learned over my years of jaded integration that those are the 2 you hope for. The third option is that they actually talk to you. If they are under 60, you’d assume they are nuts. If this were a movie, that crazy guy would be Bradley Cooper and I’d end up dancing with him in competition where they only let 1 seriously under-performing couple compete, and he would fall in love with me. However it’s not and he isn’t yet. Reality looks more like this…
Sarah and I are walking home from a night out. There is a youngish guy waiting for the bus at around 1am.
Me: I’m thinking, how responsible, he isn’t driving. *I smiled as if to say “Good for you!”*
Him: “Would you ladies be interested in a threesome?” he didn’t even skip a beat. I mentally added him to my list of people to avoid on Transit.
The evidence presented would suggest I stop smiling at everyone but I am determined to outnumber the crazy/pervy interactions with normal less suggestive ones. I’m not the only one. February 8th is now “Say HI Vancouver day” https://www.facebook.com/SayHiVancouver
So smile at a stranger passing by …. the chances are pretty good they’ll just smile back, but if you’re lucky you might get an offer you just can’t refuse.
… We said no, by the way.