IOTD: Those jerky cats.

Wow, it’s been a while.

My original plan to write once a week has clearly failed. I guess I’ve just been so busy living life and hugging garbage men (and subsequently spending my time in court for harassment) that I haven’t had time to uphold my writing commitments.

Is this my view of the sunset over the lake from my relaxing spot on the grass?? or is it my perspective after being tackled by police and arrested for breaking into the home of a sanitation engineer… ?? does it change how you feel about the photo?

jk. I’ve never been to court. (Although after watching 3 seasons of the Tudors, it looks pretty fun. The punishments are a bit different nowadays though. Instead of going to jail and learning how to be a better criminal, you got to marry the king and get beheaded…. funny how things change.)

Anyway, I have been busy. I recently finished a book study that I did for work. It’s called “The Charisma Myth” and it’s about how you can improve your interactions with people to get a much better result. Call it manipulation, call it magic. It’s a fact of life and It was a very informative.

One of the exercises we did was about perspectives. Long story short, it went something like this …

Imagine you’re on your way to an important presentation and you’re a little bit late. No time for coffee and someone cuts you off. You’re pissed. You hurl insults at the car you would never say in a face to face situation. You show up at your meeting, you’re frazzled, off your game, and you can’t get into the mental space needed to give a compelling presentation.

Now imagine the same situation. Someone has just cut you off. Instead of them being a faceless asshole, imagine they are a mother frantically trying to pull over because her child is choking in the back seat.

Or imagine whatever you would feel sympathetic for. The point is changing your perspective inside so that you show a more put together charismatic person outside. Whether you’re into self improvement or you thinks it’s hippy BS, it makes sense and it works. (unless you’re an asshole who feels empathy for no one. I’m lookin’ at you Kevin O’leary)

So, I had an opportunity to put this to the test.

I was working, (Im a retail manager for a women’s clothing store) It is sales job, but most importantly, a customer service job. (Being good at the latter usually influences the former… and lets face it being nice to people is just good karma… which is bad news for Kevin.)

So there I was. working hard. A woman walked in the front door. Let’s call her Mildred. Mildred walks through the door with her hair in curls. I instantly imagined Mildred at home that morning in a housecoat with a head full of rollers, because thats what I do.

and then I saw the bag.

It was one of our bags, which only means a return. When your job is to give the right product in exchange for money, it feels like failure when you do the opposite.

Im so dramatic. 🙂 It’s not that big of a deal, returns are a part of working in retail, and they happen, but it still sucks.

So anyway, back to Mildred. She was making a return. She handed me the bag and said she wanted her money back. In order to get into my frame of mind, it must be said that Mildred also came with 2 friends. Cigarette smoke and cat hair, and they were all over her. I don’t hate many things, but I hate cats. They are little assholes that know I’m allergic, but they play stupid and pretend to love me. We all know cats are sociopaths that don’t love anything, except maybe plotting revenge on humans…. we all know that right?

When I opened the bag to get the item, I could instantly smell the smoke, and I started to get a little bit more annoyed about the whole situation.

and then it happened.

My imagination took over, and my perspective started to change.

I pictured poor Mildred in her home at the mercy of a gang of cats. no, a mob of cats. A mob of chain smoking cats, and she was enslaved by them. I pictured her trying on her skirt in front of the mirror and the cats laughing at her, laughing with cigarettes in their mouths of course saying she would never have a need for nice clothes like that. (like a weird version of cinderella, only with more smoking, no gus gus and lots of lucifer…)

As I pictured it, I almost laughed, but I kept it in, because Mildred wasn’t privy to the scene that just went down in my head and laughing would have be weird. The point is, my demeanor toward her changed, I hated those underworld guarding assholes for her and although this was probably not the route the book had in mind… it still got me to the same empathizing, charismatic, customer serving destination. Success!

IOTD: Giving myself an Intervention.

I love water. I love boat. and let me tell you, if there was a lamp. I would love lamp.

My name is Krista, and I am an addict. (pause for the group response…..)

As I sit here radiating heat I wish my addiction could have been to sunscreen. But alas, it is not. So for now I shall sit here lathered in aloe and regret and tell you about my real addiction.

Change…. I just love it.

No, not loose change.  I hate that shit, it’s noisy, loose and awkward… which is weird because normally those are the qualities I love in people. 🙂

What I’m talking about is a love of the ‘ever changing’… the ‘constantly shifting’, The thrill of something new on the horizon.

Don’t get me wrong, this addiction has its benefits. Like when it is applied to undergarment rotation, but it also has downfalls. Sometimes I get so caught up in what is next that I miss out on what is now. (soooo profound I know.) The worst of it is when I am approaching the ‘new opportunity’ I get consumed with thinking about it and I am finding it very hard to stay present.

The last few weeks I have been thinking a lot about different aspects of my life and how they are going to change in the next while. (no, I’m not pregnant…….. yet. She says with a conniving smile, a box of condoms and pin in her hand. Hah too far? Well I’m just kidding… seriously! ……..Ok now this is awkward. I maaaaay also be addicted to misguided humour, but lets just tackle one addiction at a time.)

As far as my ‘Thinking about my next move’ addiction, I’m trying to cut back so I can really enjoy each moment. As I was walking home tonight from an evening of drinking wine, eating good food and enjoying good company, Sia’s “She Wolf” repeating for the 4^th time in my ears and the lights of the city reflecting on the water…. I actually took the time to appreciate the moment and this chapter of my life. If I make an effort, I can do this. I can kick my addiction to change and appreciate the moments in between. If that means I have to enjoy my undergarments for an extra day, then so be it. Wish me luck! 🙂

IOTD: Watch out for holes.

I’ve been running around like a crazy person lately. Working extra, making time for friends and family and trying to fit working out into that schedule…. Ok, no I don’t really work out, or even try that hard but it seemed like the right thing to say.

Bottom line, I’m busy. I know we’re all busy, but I’m like, suuuuper busy. Yeeeaaa, I know other people are responsible for keeping small humans fed and clean and off the street (as in playing in the street, not homeless… but that too, actually), but we all make choices and I chose to try and keep myself fed and clean and off the street before I start worrying about another human. It’s hard.

So as I was saying, I’ve been busy, I don’t have a lot of alone time or personal reflection time. (Which is probably a good thing as my personal reflection is not exactly where I’d like it to be since I stopped working out don’t worked out on a count of not wanting to.) But I digress, this post isn’t about how out of breath I am after walking 4 blocks uphill to work everyday (It’s very steep and it never gets easier by the way), Its about finding ‘appreciation’ time and I get more of it than I thought I did.

If you’ve ever been married, someone probably told you to stop and take it all in. Enjoy it; because it’s a whirlwind and it’s over before you know it. (the wedding, not the marriage… well… maybe both…  but regardless, the advice still applies 😉 The same is true for the everyday mundane bits. I was getting caught up in rushing everywhere that I was missing out on the awesome shit in between.

I was walking to work the other day and the cherry blossoms had just come out so I was walking under a light pink canopy of heavenliness. (This is truly the prettiest time of year in Kits). As I was walking up to one of the many blocks with construction, the wind started to blow lightly and the cherry blossom snow started to fall. It felt like a scene from a movie when every thing slows down and the girl’s hair blows all sexy in the wind and everyone around stops and notices her and there is music and it’s also sexy and then I fell into a construction hole…. At least that is the kind of movie I would be in so I told myself to snap out of it because my hair was in a bun and every time I get cocky and ahead of myself, I do something clumsy. It’s like fate is trying to keep my ego in check. It never fails me. “I get it, fate! I’m not a graceful movie star!”

I didn’t feel it was an appropriate time or place to try and disprove that theory. But in that moment for just a second, I really appreciated the perfectness of it all. Even if it was mostly delusional.

The Moral…, appreciate the moments in between leaving your house and falling into a construction hole. Oh, and always wear your hair down on slightly windy days… It flows better with the music.

IOTD: No pissy attitudes.

“Dear Diary,

I’m sorry I haven’t written for a while. I’ve been so busy….”

If you ever owned a diary as a little girl…. you know those words are written somewhere on those tear laden pages, along with oh so elegant prose on how unfair everything in your life is… It sounds so dramaaaatic, let me tell you, it was. The pages of my diary were full of sad stories about love, betrayal and how my sister wouldn’t share her ketchup chips with me (ok, not so much the first two, but definitely the last one. She was really mean to me when we were younger. I always tried to be a supportive older sister and she wouldn’t accept me. 😉 … Kaily, before you clog up the comments section …remember, Its my blog, I can write whatever side of the story I want!)

where was I? oh yes… I was lying about my sister talking about my diary. The inanimate object that I insisted on apologizing to.

Plane, I’m so sorry I locked you in here for so long…. please don’t be mad at me..

Silly, I know, but those were simpler times… times when all you had to apologize for was neglecting your diary, or forgetting about a glass of juice in your room that started to grow vegetation, or accidentally killing your hampster… (it was an honest mistake, I assure you and I was heartbroken but I really my sister really didn’t mean to kill him, so I didn’t hold a grudge for too long…. see, I’m a good older sis)

Anyways… I digress…back to easier times… everything was black and white. Go to school, do homework, do chores, be an excellent child. easy. I did that day in and day out. Black and white, until things started to turn grey, the teenage years. Heading into war with your hormones, your brain, the world, your parents, black ice and street gangs… (the last two were just a scare tactic from my mom I’m sure…)

I lived in a rough neighbourhood, we had to wear full gear while walking to school.

Once I came out of the fog on the other side, I realized things aren’t so bad. Those parties I desperately wanted to go to but wasn’t allowed were full of douches and future drug addicts (probably not, I bet they are lawyers and doctors and I’m sure it’s ALL BECAUSE “SO AND SO’S PARENTS LET THEM GO!” “WHO CARES IF THE PARENTS AREN’T GOING TO BE THERE!”, “NO YOU CAN’T CALL THEM, YOU’RE SO EMBARRASSING!” ) and I’m clearly very well adjusted and normal, and they aren’t….. So there. 🙂

But seriously, life isn’t so bad. All of the photos I posted, I took last weekend at a skydiving site. It was literally raining men for a few hours. Soooo, you know, it could be worse. 🙂

Moral of the story… same as always …Bright side, Half full, and No Pissy Attitudes.

Yes, as a matter of fact that is a photo of taylor swift in a grown man’s skydiving locker.

IOTD: Get out, and Get wet!

Another slightly overcast morning. I don’t mind it, and I actually don’t mind the rain either. However, If it’s a choice of going out into the rain and the cold to try and take photos when I’m not really that great at it or staying in my cozy bed for an extra 5 minutes, then another 5 minutes, then juuuuust another 5 minutes. (carry on for about an hour) I usually choose the latter. It’s always worth it to get that bit of extra sleep that is interrupted every 5 minutes so you never really sleep and then when you do get up, you rush around like a crazy woman to get out the door on time. On second thought, I hate that. Clearly the fresh morning air is the better choice, but there is no reasoning with my half a sleep alter ego so here are a couple more photos I took on monday.

I am struggling with the idea of taking photos of real people, but it scares me more than walking under the Burrard Street bridge and imagining I’m Buffy the vampire slayer. ( Allison, I totally stole this from you, because I think about it now when I’m in scary neighbourhoods/normal neighbourhood and I just think they are scary )

Sidetracked again.

Oh yes, Taking photos of real people. I will get the nerve eventually. I’m hoping if people see me walking around a lot with my camera they will start to recognize me and that will make me less “the creep hiding behind the tree taking photos of people” and more “that weird girl who takes cool photos of people”.. there is totally a difference.

On Sunday I was down at the beach (with my camera) and it had poured rain all day, and then right at the end, the sun came out. I was walking back to my apartment and I was coming up to this old man that was walking slowly and he wasn’t paying attention, he was encroaching on this massive puddle and his velcro runners were going to get all wet. I was perplexed, do I tell him? Do I step out of my comfort zone and yell at this man to “Watch the puddle!”? It’s a huge decision that I clearly spent way too much time mulling about.

Before I said something, he looked down and noticed the small lake that had formed on the pathway. Phew. He sees it. I smiled at him, he smiled at me. His velcro shoes were safe. Then, as if to defy all velcro logic, he went full force into the puddle splashing and putting his arms in the air as he kicked his feet. I’m not even kidding!

“Its still as fun as I remember!!” he told me.

uuuuh, Am I in a Nicholas Sparks movie? because that was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! You think I had the courage to ask him if I could take some photos. Nope. It will be the biggest regret of my life. So instead I have a picture of some boats….

They are cute too, they just don’t look as good in velcro New Balance.

IOTD: If you like it then you better put a lock on it.

This is good advice especially if you ride your bike around Vancouver. However I was actually referring to Beyonce’s critically acclaimed score ‘Single Ladies’. You’ll understand once you read on.

This morning was a little harder to get out of bed. It could be due to the fact that it is overcast and being from Vancouver, I’m just not used to that…. 😉 OR it could be that my brain needed extra time to regenerate brain cells after watching the bachelor something that I’m not embarrassed to say that I watch. The first one was a lie, I’m gonna go ahead and say it was the latter. So with those two things in mind, and since I had such a sweet morning/photo walk yesterday, these are the bachelor style ‘true love’ inspired results of that walk.

This one has nothing to do with love. I just like it. Although there were some ducks that seemed like they were gossiping and fighting over one male duck… so I guess it was a compilation episode of “The Duck Dynasty Bachelor”?… I don’t know… ratings are bad… moving on…

I had never noticed this little stretch of fence in all my travels across the Burrard street bridge. It’s kinda sweet. It makes me want to Investigate. How long they’ve been there? Are HJ and SN still together? Are they married now? Did they have a horrible break up and just forget it was there? If they do have a bad break up is SN going to do the ugly cry and run up the bridge with a large pair of bolt cutters and try to remove it? … Maybe I’m just thinking of breakups and the ugly cry because of last nights programming. I bet they are still in love, I’m pretty sure if they broke up the lock would just fall off.

These two were serious! No sharpie love for them, it’s full on carve it in metal kinda love…. or maybe carson doesn’t know who liz is?? … oooo awkward.

Bless their hearts… However, I feel they didn’t reeeaaally understand the assignment.

I love you too beach!!!

IOTD: Do something that scares you as often as possible.

Once a day seems like a lot. Sometimes you just don’t encounter scary things EVERY day. Apart from putting yourself in scary situations like singing the “I have a large amount of meth in my pocket” song along hastings street. (It’s a pretty catchy song).

This morning I was up again at around stupid o’clock so I decided to get out, snap some photos and put myself in some scary situations. Not on purpose… well, not really on purpose. I was walking around the seawall as the sun was coming up and along with marvelling at the sheer beauty of Vancouver I was also thinking of how the news anchor would report my brutal mugging, or something else unspeakable. It’s weird I know, I’m a little warped in my brain area. Nevertheless, that’s how I think sometimes. So naturally I decided to also walk in the totally dodgy underbelly of the Burrard Street bridge.

The cast of CSI will show up in approximately 2 hours

I was just imagining the hoodlums hiding around each pillar waiting and snickering as I approached. I kept thinking about what I would do if I got jumped, I thought about being totally badass and beating the shit out of them, and then I realized, at best, I could make them feel really bad about themselves as they ran away with my camera. Thankfully, this never came to fruition. I guess they all left for work already.

Inspiration of the day: Be a morning person.

I woke up this morning around stupid o’clock. It could be due to the fact that I went to bed super early last night from a meat and beer induced coma, or the fact that I have a human alarm clock who gets up between 5 and 6am every morning and it has programmed my body as well. Due to the fact that I woke up early and had an AMAZING morning I suppose I owe him a thank you, but I want to continue to complain about his ungodly hour of waking, so I think I’ll keep the thank you to myself. 

So about this amazing morning… first I was aggressively blinded by the sun pleasantly greeted by the sun the second I opened my eyes. The I realized it’s sunday so I don’t work until later, and then I thought about my photography idol Eugene Tan who gets up every morning right when dawn shows her crack (that’s even earlier than stupid o’clock) and walks to Bondi Beach to take stunning photos. I went to his studio when I was in Australia and I was seriously inspired. First I was inspired to surf like the people in his photos, then I realized I’m in my (at the time) mid 20’s and I have never been on a surfboard. So then I was inspired to buy one of his prints, then I realized some of them cost the same amount as my trip to australia. So then I was just inspired to live on the beach and take photos every day…. yup, that I can do!

http://www.Aquabumps.com check it. He’s amazing. Speaking of amazing … here are the subpar results of my amazing morning.  

If the giant body of water to your left isn’t obvious enough… here is a sign to tell you where it is.

“um, excuse me lady, can you please get out of my shot! I’m trying to take mediocre photos here”

It was a little weird being at the dog beach taking photos of other people’s dogs. I have a weakness for dogs… and cute babies… I feel this was the more socially acceptable alternative of the two.

 

Inspiration of the day: Always be prepared

“I promise to do my best, to be true to myself ….. aaaaand sell lots of cookies”… pretty sure that’s right, or at least that’s the gist of it. One thing I definitely remember is “Always be prepared”. I’ll never forget that. Always be prepared. I feel that is such a huge responsibility for a little girl. How can you ALWAYS be prepared? and for what?? I would like to take this opportunity to blame the Girl Guides of Canada for heavy purses, shoulder droop and exposing me to a naked man at the age of 12, I promise it’s not as bad as it sounds, … but more on that later. I’m getting off track …

Where is this all coming from…

Well, the other day I decided I should clean out my purse. You know, get rid of old receipts, maybe find a nickel or a piece of gum. It is a fairly large size tote that I use when travelling to and fro. So I decided that it was time to go through and dispose of the garbage so that it is possible to actually find something in my supercalifragilistic tote bag! As I was dumping out my bag delicately removing the contents of my purse like a lady, it made me think of all those articles in magazines where celebrities show us what they carry around. How fun! I’m gonna take a photo and blog about it… hopefully its not as boring as it seems now that I’ve just seen it typed out.

You have 20 seconds to memorize every item, then I will take them away. Whoever remembers the most items doesn’t EVER have to play these baby/wedding/bridal shower games ever again.

At first glance it may seem like the necessary ingredients to be prepared for at least the most likely things that will happen to me in any given day.

Water bottle – there is a chance I might get SO thirsty in the 4 blocks between my house and my work that I will say to myself… “Thank God I was prepared for this”

Phone charger – that is legit. you know you feel lost when your phone dies…

Watch – what if my phone dies and I’ve lost my phone charger?

Glasses case – I should mention that my prescription glasses were nowhere near the case, but should they find their way into my purse…. Consider me prepared!

Timmy Ho’s O.J – that one was in there for a while, but does OJ ever reeeeaaally go bad??

Gravol – Just in case O.J does go bad.

A giant belt – this is not the kind that holds your pants up, it’s the kind that looks GREAT with everything. So obviously that needs to be in there.

My wallet – where else am I going to put my friend’s school portraits??

My debit card – you will notice it is not in my wallet… The last time I used it I was finishing up at the grocery store and there was someone behind me inching her way up to pay and I felt pressured to get my stuff and get out of the way quickly…. so I just dropped it haphazardly in my purse… you know you’ve been there.

A bracelet and a necklace – Took them off 15 minutes after I left my house the day before because I kept getting them caught in everything and it made me look very awkward. Clearly I am prepared to glam it up at a moments notice. I get invited to parties. I’m very popular.

Avocado – yup, that was actually in there…. I don’t even know.

“What’s that doctor? He needs an avocado right now or he’ll die? “

So I guess I’m pretty much the best Girl Guide ever.

I’m prepared for SO many things! I’ve grown and learned so much since my days with Girl Guide leader ‘Brown Owl’. She taught me to be prepared, lend a hand and not to take a bunch of girl guides on a hike through Wreck beach!

Irony joined us on the hike that day. It appeared the woman who taught me to always be prepared, wasn’t prepared for the possibility that there could be a nude beach in Vancouver… or maybe she was trying to help us get our ‘Good bye Innocence’ badge. I suppose it never really stood a chance anyway… I’ll get the needle and thread.

Inspiration of the day: Throw poop at the fan.

Yesterday was my birthday. A lot of people hate birthdays, but I love them. I get to do whatever I want, spend money even if I shouldn’t without feeling guilty, and nobody can get mad if I start drinking before noon. Now let me clarify…. this is no different from any other day, but on my birthday I have an excuse, and I intend to use it. Also, it was National Margarita Day, so there’s that.

I do understand why these days are not universally liked. Birthdays can be scary. As a child you think you will be at a certain point in your life, in your career, in your relationships by a certain age and birthdays are a reminder of the ticking time bomb that is your youth. When you actually reach the magical number that seemed so far away when you were 12, you realize you are no closer to marrying one of the backstreet boys than you were back then.

Who knew a bowl could be SO useful!

As it turns out, that’s okay. I’m glad things didn’t work out exactly how I planned them. If they did I would be a farmer in seattle and I don’t think I would get the same job satisfaction from the agriculture industry that I get from the fashion world.  (I’m not even sure why a little girl would have such a randomly specific idea of what she wants to be when she grows up, but apparently that was once my dream).

Inherently, I am a glass half full kind of person. I do mix in a little half empty to keep it fresh (no one likes the annoyingly positive person). I am good at being sarcastic and I can peer over to the dark side every now and then but I really believe that everything happens for a reason and sooner or later that reason will become clear. It wasn’t my exact plan to get married and divorced before 30, but as I said, everything happens for a reason… and I’m all about checking things off the list, so I guess now I can say I’ve done that! Check! 🙂

There are so many amazing things that would have never happened if shit didn’t hit the fan every now and then. So my goal for the last 2 years of my 20’s is to not freak out about a little brown splatter on the walls (that’s quite a powerful visual isn’t it. 🙂 ) but to enjoy the impromptu redecorating of my life and check a few things off the list that I didn’t even know were on the list.